Change is Good.

If I could change some things about me, this is what they'd be.

-I'd be taller, no doubt about it. This list is in no particular order, but the tallness factor is #1 for sure. There is not a girl alive who's ideal husband/boyfriend is their height or shorter. There is not a single advantage to being short despite what short people everywhere tell you. If they saw otherwise they are lying, and that is a fact. You're weaker, you suck harder at every sport except for riding horses and sitting in the corner of a row boat while yelling. Both of which aren't glamorous. You also have to stand on the tips of your toes to reach things and doctors tell you that you're normal when you know you're not.

-If i could change something else, it'd be my ability to buy clothes. I struggle with this because I like to buy only what I "need". I obviously don't JUST buy what I need, but I can't bring myself to dive into trends when I know in the back of my mind that I'm being completely ripped off. However, I enjoy clothes a lot and wish I could buy more and be OK with myself.

- I wish I enjoyed texting more. I hate it, I sometimes feel like I don't fit into my generation because of this one seemingly small detail. Or maybe I just hate how texting is over analyzed to the point that if I don't send within a certain time frame or don't have a certain amount of syllables that means I'm angry. This annoys me.

- I wish I was tremendously good at something. I'm pretty much average at everything. If I work really hard I still hit average. There isn't one skill I am an expert on, there is no category in which someone would come to me and say "oh, you'd know this". If being par was a category, I'd be in it. Even things I really enjoy, like wakeboarding and snowboarding....average. How do you live in Switzerland for 3 months, snowboard every weekend and walk out still in the average bracket, it's like being a super hero...median man.

- I wish I wasn't annoyed by so many different things, which is something I'm actually working on. I get easily annoyed, and then criticism builds up in my head and then I say what's on my mind. This is a recipe for disaster.

- I wish I was one of those guys who is content with flying under the radar. I say that I am, but really I must not be because I never do. I always find a way to make a scene out of nothing. I used to think I could do this, but I know now that making a scene is in my blood. I must make a scene.

- I wish I could grow a good looking beard.

- I wish I enjoyed going to the gym, but to be honest the gym is optimal conditions for low self-esteem. Enter jacked guys, gorgeous girls and homeless jon. I hate the idea of buying "gym clothes" so I just use old shorts and shirts and look like I just rolled off the sidewalk. And it's intimidating as some dude is lifting twice my weight while I'm struggling to do half of mine, and then at this moment some cute girl would walk by and witness my collapse, heavy breathing and possibly me reaching for my puffer. With the collapse of my body goes my self-confidence as well.

- I wish I could be one of those guys that could play every instrument. I have family members like this, and i wonder how I ended up with such crappy genes. My whole family amazing at singing and I can not do it at all. I actually got in an argument with my mother once when she was trying to help me hit a note and i couldn't, and she said "both your grandfathers are choir conductors, you can sing", as if she was trying to convince herself that I must be able to sing.
Going to family reunions is like watching yourself lose the genetic lottery over and over. As they play gr. 12 piano pieces, followed by drums, bass, guitar and whatever else they can play. Don't get me wrong I have some musical skill. I can play a bit of piano and drums, but only average at best.

- I wish I was native so the government would give me bags of cash for simply existing.

-I wish I wasn't so analytical. I over-analyze almost everything with the exception of text messages. It can be exhausting, I somehow manage to turn simple things into incredibly complex organisms by looking at every possible variable that could influence the outcome of whether or not the bus will show up on time.

- I wish I wasn't self-aware. I hate that I have a pretty good idea of myself. I've been told that I am self-aware but more than one person, so this isn't one of those things where I could have a terribly grandiose misconception. Or, If i'm not self-aware, I wish that I realized I wasn't.