The Circle of Death

Once upon a time there was an extremely sick psychiatric patient who was instiutionalized at the age of 7.  This girl was diagnosed with severe pica among other psychological conditions.  Needless to say, her story has some gaps in it, but I’ll do the best I can.   Her pica (desire to eat objects of no nutritional value, e.g. keys and incontinent pads) was severe, in fact you can almost say it was a super natural  ability.  You see, as this little girl grew up, nurses would get comfortable around her, and leave their keys around, maybe some papers, pens, pencils etc.  Forgetting that this young girl had an overwhelming desire to eat them.

Now, let’s pretend you leave your keys within her reach, it would end up in her stomach.  You see she had an uncanny ability to swallow just about anything.  The most famous was an incontinent pad that ended up in her stomach that she took from underneath her sheets.  In fact, her head needed to be shaved because whenever she wanted a snack, guess where she’d pull it from.  Now this girl had a pain tolerance Jack Bauer would only dream of, and she needed to be in 4 point restraints….constantly.  A life of imprisonment, for her own safety.  You see, she would eat your hand if she had the chance, in fact, she’d eat her own hand if she had the chance. 

She ripped our her teeth, her fingernails and on and on it goes.  In fact, one time when she wasn’t in 4 point restraints, on Halloween night, she sauntered on over to her roommates’ bed, and with a serated knife like you get in a dollar store silverware set, slowly but surely sawed off her head so she could return it to it’s rightful owner.   On Halloween night, no lie, no joke, no myth.

Now, since this young girl was in 4 point  restraints, and would eat your hand, or her own breast (yep, you read that correctly) the staff at the hospital made a bright red circle around her.  If you were within the circle’s perimeter, you were in her reach, and therefore in danger, and if not, you were safe. 

And that my friends, is why a clinical placement in the psych ward, is

“unlike any other placement you will ever be in, in your entire lives, you can’t make this shit up”.
-clinical instructor

I’m told her other supernatural ability is never forgetting a name or a face.  

School is toughter this year, but clincal is much more interesting than last year.